I'm frustrated.
Yet, I'm FULL of faith
I believe...
Like Thomas at times though...
Unless, I see the promise…I can’t quite wrap my head around believing what He said is real. This juxtaposition has left me frustrated. (Lord help my unbelief!)
I've always been a person that trusts God even in the most turbulent times and will believe that things will get better and work out. But there have been times, like now, where my faith wains & gets a little thin. I've asked myself of late, if faith the size of a mustard seed is all we need, perhaps right now, I’m running on faith dust...
While, at the same time, I KNOW HE'S NOT LEFT nor forsaken us. He can't... Because His Word says so and God is a man of His word.
I've been so incredibly flustered, flabbergasted, angry, disappointed and at times just fed up. I can't and won't turn on the news because I refuse to allow the reports to further weigh on my emotions.
From COVID-19…
To the election that seems to NEVER END…
To a Congress that can't seem to agree on anything…
To debates over political issues that have infiltrated the church...
To death in my family…
To my friends who are reeling from the ache of seeing their loved ones going through…
To my own father's cancer diagnosis…
To people losing their jobs and businesses....
To not being able to gather with my family as we normally would…
To my own health challenges...
And so many other things...
Lord, is it enough now?
When will all of this be OVER ALREADY?...
There seems to be more bad news than good... BUT GOD...
Where do I go to find strength for my faith?
The Word of course.
Where do I go to find strength to make it through this frustration?
Prayer Of course.
Where do I go to just GET OVER IT?
Praise of course...
JUST WHERE DO I GO?....
I’ve had to remind myself that I'm human...
and YES I’m a believer...
and YES a Minister of the Gospel…
but YES, I’m still allowed to have these emotions, and at times doubt...
and YES, I am allowed to let it show...
YES...I am...
The best part is that I CAN LIVE with a greater HOPE that the God I say I believe in is WELL ABLE to carry me through even THIS SEASON and BEYOND...
The story isn't over. The final chapter has not been written and His promises remain true.... My latter days will be greater than my former. The God of heaven and Earth is FAITHFUL. He is just... And he hears even my faintest plea.
From my lips to His ears. When I can't utter a word and my heart can only moan in a grunt... He knows, He hears and HE WILL ANSWER!
So yes I'm frustrated... Yet... I'm faith-full
